Silly Kids… Play is for Adults Too!
When was the last time you played? Not just done something you enjoy, but really, truly played? The kind of play where you can’t wipe the grin off your face, lose track of time, and get lost in a different world.
If you’re an adult living a busy life, then it’s likely you’re thinking back to memories from your childhood. Maybe you’re remembering your favorite stuffed animal you went on adventures with, or that time you and a friend turned a cardboard moving box into a spaceship. Many of our core memories, beliefs about ourselves, and skills were developed through play as kids. Research has proven time and time again that play is essential to psychological, social, and emotional development in kids, but at some point in our lives nearly all of us put down that stuffed animal or that decorated cardboard box, never to pick it up and play with it again.
Why is it that something so essential to us in our formative years we believe we can just cast aside once we feel like we’re “grown up” enough? When does play stop benefiting us? Through my work with clients of all different ages and through my own journey with play, I’ve come to believe that play is still essential as an adult. What play looks like may change as we get older, but its importance for our health and functioning doesn’t.
What is play?
The Oxford dictionary defines play as, “to engage in activity for enjoyment and recreation rather than a serious or practical purpose.” No toys required, people!
Play can look like many different things, but the common factors are
-the process is more important than the outcome
-it takes you out of time (time moves by faster)
-connection to ourselves and to others
Play is immersing yourself into a different world. It’s taking joy in something as small as seeing how high different kinds of balls can bounce. It’s being someone or something that you’re not. It’s creating characters with funny names and voices. It’s seeing everyday objects through a new lens. It’s communicating. It’s unfiltered. It’s laughing so hard your sides hurt.
Play nourishes our souls in such a profound yet simple way… It’s strange that as adults we allow ourselves to neglect this aspect of our humanity.
It’s becoming more popular in our society to emphasize self-care and finding balance in our lives, and rightfully so. But there is something missing from the bubble baths, face masks, and contemplative walks through nature. The self-care activities so often prescribed by therapists and suggested on Pinterest are certainly helpful and necessary in so many ways, but they often do not engage our human need for play.
One of my favorite parts about my job is when I get to play. Most days I get to play a game of Jenga or Uno, color a unicorn coloring sheet, or make a Coke and Mentos explosion. It may sound “too fun” or “too simple” to be therapy, but at its core play is connection, and kids connect through play. That connection is what allows me to earn trust, teach new skills, and calm them down when they’re upset.
Not only is this play essential for the kid for their learning in therapy and gives me invaluable insight into how their brains work, but it gives my heart time to laugh and breathe. I need to play to stay sharp and energized. I need to play to remember not to take life too seriously. I need to play to get through the hard days, and I didn’t realize that until I started this career and learned from my kid clients.
So, how can you start incorporating play in your life as an adult?
-First, embrace that “play” doesn’t have to be what we traditionally think about with kids and toys. It can be anything that brings you joy, makes you laugh, or takes you into a new world.
-Second, figure out what those things are! This involves some personal reflection and exploration of all the options out there. You can get creative and try something new, or you can revisit an activity from your childhood that brings nostalgia.
-Third, dedicate time to play. Don’t fall into the trap of saying, “I’ll do it later,” or “I have to spend my time doing more important things.” Self-care and play are essential to our well-being and deserve time in our schedule. Make it a point to dedicate time every day, week, or month to play and stick to it.
So, let’s take a look at some ways that adults can play.
Pursuing a passion or interest
Start a collection of something that makes you smile
Playing on a sports team with an emphasis on enjoyment, not winning
Writing a short story with characters you come up with
Crafting
Dancing a silly dance move in the mirror
Fidget toys, clay, Orbeez
Find an old toy from your childhood
Eat your favorite childhood candy
Go to an arcade
Make-believe with your kids
Go down a slide
Sing in the car with your friends
Write your own jokes
Engage in a silly game or friendly competition with your partner, like best blindfolded portrait
Remember that play is about the process and not about the outcome. Avoid things where you feel like you are trying to earn something or that you must have something to “show” for your time.
Oh, and if you need more ideas about what to play or how to play it, just ask an expert that you know and learn from them… a kid!