A child’s job is to learn how to navigate the world. With that comes many mistakes and many failures. Continually showing up for your child after their mistakes or failures shows them your love and care for them is unconditional. No matter how many mistakes they make or how many times they fail, you are still on their team. You are showing them that you will be there to offer love and support while they navigate life's challenges.”

Back in the early human days anxiety and panic were exclusive to physical safety. The saber tooth tiger, wooly mammoth, famine, invasion, etc. were all fundamental situations that alerted our limbic system to release the needed stress hormones for survival. Run or fight. That was it. Survival was that narrow of a line.

Recently I traveled to Arizona, and on my return flight back to Atlanta I had the privilege of sitting next to a gentleman named Thomas. I was the middle seat, and Thomas had the window. For most people, the window seat is coveted as it allows you to look out at the vast sky and landscape below as you travel through the air from one destination to the next…for Thomas, this was not the case. With his belongings clutched to his chest, he quickly looked at me before taking off and said “I’m not too sure about this seat…” implying that the view from 30,000 feet in the air will be more unsettling than pleasant.

Sooooo, we are officially into the year of 2023… and for some it may feel like you have just entered, and for some, I am sure you are already planning on where to out the Christmas tree this year. Irrespective of either category, I am sure most of you reading this have either entertained or implemented some form of… (insert drum roll here)… New Year’s Resolution…?! How’s that going for you???

Why do we feel like we always have to have words of wisdom or comfort in response to the emotional pain of those around us? There is no Hallmark card-worthy quote, verse, or poem that will restore what was lost, and yet we offer words that are at best bandaids on a gunshot wound or at worst harmful and invalidating. Why? Because so many of us don’t recognize silence as being more powerful than words in so many circumstances.

Do you ever feel like the days are flying by and you can’t recall how they were spent or if you were even present? Are you ruminating about something in the past you can’t change or working yourself up about an event in the future that is also out of your control? Well, you are not alone! 

“No emotion is, in itself, a judgement; in that sense all emotions and sentiments are alogical,

but they can be reasonable or unreasonable as they conform to reason or fail to conform. The

heart never takes the place of the head, but it can, and should, obey it.”

C.S. Lewis in The

Abolition of Man

There is a lie woven into the fabric of our culture today that vulnerability is weakness. Because of this lie, we have a false sense of strength. In avoiding vulnerability, we have hidden away the deepest parts of our soul’s yearning. Instead of embracing vulnerability,

Being a therapist is, for me, the most rewarding and wonderful position, alongside mother and wife.

It carries such honor because I know the lengths at which I had to come, in order to sit across from a teen or adult or play on the floor with a young child. Attending and attuning to THEM. Sensing Their thoughts…their feelings AND having the knowledge and skills to do just that!

It’s easy to focus on what’s right in front of us without looking much further. What we see on the surface gives us a small glimpse, but have you ever thought to look underneath?

When I found that quote, I read it over and over as I tried to process all the feelings coursing through me. I felt proud, strong, happy, and powerful.

I know that when you become a therapist everyone assumes that means you’ve mastered mental health and no longer should struggle. Well, let me be the one to tell you that isn’t the case. For as long as I can remember I have been trapped in my own head. I’ve dreamt of escaping my crowded city street of a mind. I think myself into oblivion and it has often stopped me from truly enjoying my life. I've always been an indecisive person because I put pressure on myself to make the right choice. Even when there is no right or wrong answer. In the past, my thoughts have stopped me from being happy in moments big

For just one moment imagine the relief you’d feel if you let go of how others thought of you. What would I do differently if I didn’t care what others thought about me? How would I go about my day differently if I stayed committed to myself? Where would I be or who could I become if I acted on my passions and desires and carried them to fruition?

In order to free yourself from the shackles of loneliness, you must choose connection over isolation. You must choose to be something other than a prisoner. You must choose to bring purpose into the pain of your experience. So whether you are physically alone, lacking shared values/interests with others, or lacking intimacy with yourself and/or others—how will you respond? The choice is yours.

It’s becoming more popular in our society to emphasize self-care and finding balance in our lives, and rightfully so. But there is something missing from the bubble baths, face masks, and contemplative walks through nature. The self-care activities so often prescribed by therapists and suggested on Pinterest are certainly helpful and necessary in so many ways, but they often do not engage our human need for play.

Self-love is a complicated concept. It is something not taught in many schools or homes. It is something that we discover and search for as we grow older and become more curious. It is typically easy to extend love to others, but what about ourselves? Are we not worth this love, celebration, and affirmation that we constantly shower others with? The good thing is, this can be changed, but it takes time.

When we view our hurt or pain as worthy of our attention and care, we can “go there” without fear. By truly getting in touch with our wounds, and feeling all the sensitive, raw muck of our past, we are actively healing them. It may feel unbearable at times to let it catch up to you in this way, but you will breathe again. It will pass and when it does, you will have let light and air into those drafty corners. You will feel lighter and freer. You will know you are strong enough to get through, better for having gone through it.

You have to stop choosing heartache over joy. You have to stop choosing sleepless nights over rest. You have to stop choosing the person who has chosen to fight you instead of for you.

...BUT, let us not stop there. Let us remember, we can do hard things. We grow. We become stronger… and ultimately, we are resilient.