Navigating Tough Conversations: Talking to Kids About School Shootings by Madison Reed

Talking to kids about something as tragic as the recent school shooting at Winder can be incredibly challenging for parents and caregivers. You want to protect them from feeling scared, but avoiding the topic altogether can sometimes make them even more anxious. The key is to have an open, calm conversation that's honest, but not overwhelming, and focus on making them feel safe.

First, and probably the most helpful step in having tough conversations with your child is regulating your own anxiety. When information is difficult to emotionally process, such as school shootings they will look to you as an emotional pulse on what they should be feeling. If you are communicating anxiety and fear they will experience it as well. it's helpful to ask your child what they already know. Kids might hear things from friends, online, or the news, and they might not always have the full story. You could start by asking, "Have you heard anything about what happened at Winder?" This gives you a chance to clear up any confusion and find out where they're at emotionally.

When explaining, keep it simple and age-appropriate. For younger kids, something like, "There was an incident at a school where some people got hurt, but it's over now, and the police are keeping everyone safe," works well. For older kids, you can provide a bit more detail without going too far: "There was a shooting at a school, and people were harmed. It's very sad, but the police are doing everything they can to keep schools safe."

A helpful way to frame the conversation is by comparing school safety to other everyday safety precautions. For example, just like we have seatbelts in the car or rules for crossing the street, schools have plans and systems to keep kids safe. These comparisons help kids realize that safety measures are part of life everywhere, not just in schools.

It’s also important to validate their feelings. Some kids may feel sad or anxious, while others might not seem bothered at all. Let them know it’s okay to feel however they’re feeling: "It’s normal to feel worried or sad when you hear about something like this. I'm here if you want to talk about it or if you have any questions."

After talking to them, reassure your child that they are safe. You can explain that schools have safety plans, and adults—like teachers and police officers—are working hard to keep everyone protected. You might also remind them that events like this are very rare, and while they’re scary, they’re not something they need to worry about happening to them.

One thing to watch out for is how much media they're consuming. The constant news cycle can make things seem scarier than they are, especially for kids. Encourage them to take a break from the news and instead focus on activities they enjoy—whether that's reading, playing outside, or doing something creative.

If your child starts feeling anxious about going back to school, there are a few things that can help. Establishing a regular routine can create a sense of normalcy and security, making the return to school feel less overwhelming. Simple relaxation techniques like deep breathing can also be useful. Show them how to take slow, deep breaths when they're feeling nervous—it’s a great way to calm down.

Positive affirmations can work too. Help your child come up with reassuring phrases like, “I am safe at school” or “The teachers are here to protect me.” It can give them something positive to focus on when they feel worried.

If they seem really nervous about going back, try easing them in. You could visit the school together when it’s quiet, or talk about the good times they’ve had there to help them feel more connected and less anxious.

Most importantly, let them know it’s okay to talk about their fears anytime. Keeping communication open lets them know they’re supported, and they won’t have to carry those fears alone.

In the end, the goal is to let your child know that it's okay to be concerned, but they are safe, and you’re there to help them through it. By being calm, reassuring, and available to listen, you can help ease their anxiety and make sure they feel supported