Entering Your Growth Era by Cat Gouge

I recently had a conversation with a client who had willingly moved out of her comfort zone in a major way. What stood out to me during our talk was the speed at which she was achieving her goals – not in spite of the challenges, but because of them. She had accepted the discomfort that came along with growth and used it to motivate herself towards what she wanted.

            When we assess progress in therapy, we often view it through the stage of change model, which outlines six steps people take on the way to effectively dealing with their presented problem. These stages are precontemplation, contemplation, determination, action, and maintenance. Typically, a lot of therapy takes place in the first three of these stages. In precontemplation, the client has not yet considered change. In contemplation, the client is beginning to see change as possible, but is not convinced. When the client reaches the determination change, they have committed to changing, but are unsure how to.

            In each of these first three stages, the client maintains relative control and does not have to experience a great deal of discomfort. Change is theoretical at this point, not a reality, and so it is not that scary. However, when we get to stage four, we must act and often (if not always) this requires us to get uncomfortable. There is a reason we have not acted towards change yet – it is hard! However, if we want to cross over and receive what we believe waits for us on the other side, the only way out is through. We’ve got to get uncomfortable!

            I had a camp counselor growing up who, when faced with all of our complaints about being tired or hungry, would simply respond, “You’re building character!” As annoying as this was then, I think it does capture the point of this blog. When we reframe struggle as a positive sign of growth, we can use it to our benefit. The willingness to try and the willingness to feel awkward, nervous, or afraid communicates to yourself that you can do hard things. The more you follow through on your determination to change with tangible action, the more confident you become in your ability to create the life you want for yourself. What can you act on today that will take you further in the stages of change?