Egocentrism and How It Affects Childrens Interpretations

Egocentrism is when a person is only able view the world through their own perspective. They are only able to to think about how they feel and think. Typically (not always) around age 7 is when children are able to understand other’s have different thoughts and feelings. (Some children are free of this concept earlier than 7 while there are adults that never grow out of this concept). With this being said, children are the most wonderful observers but terrible interpreters. This means they are always observing but not always interpreting correctly AND because of EGOCENTRISM they are most likely internalizing (believing it has to do with them/direct their feelings inside). For example: Not speaking about a parent moving out of the house could lead a child to feel that it was their fault that parents left. Afterall,  they truly believe everyone thinks and feels what they do so they internalize and may believe it must be that a parent left because I was “bad”. 

The good new is WE CAN HELP. We can help them interpret by making sure we, as adults, discuss noticeable difference when they occur to prevent the child from internalizing the situation. No matter your beliefs about if they will notice or not, it is SO important to discuss changes in a child’s life. I can guarantee you they will notice any changes… let’s just think about the last time you served your child’s favorite food but you had to switch 1 small ingredient… (you ran out of whole milk, so you bought 2% and put in it their mac-n-cheese…) I guarantee they noticed! This is developmentally normal and part of being a great observer. Their job is to learn how to navigate the world and in doing so they are observing everyone and everything around them, taking in information and doing their best to interpret. It is our job to have simple and, at times, difficult conversations with our children about any changes in the child’s daily routine or life to free them of any wrongful interpretations, model healthy communication skills, and reassure safety and love for the child.